Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wow, last night was a night

Yesterday after picking Adison up from school we went over to my friend Jennifer's house for a little play date.
Yes, it was for the moms as much as for the children.
That you see, is the joy of our children being friends!
We all had a lot of fun.

After that we headed home to make some dinner, do baths and homework.
No biggie, normal evening.

As we are finishing dinner it dawned on me again that next Wednesday marks 5 years since we found out that we lost our Emma Grace.
It's not that it's shocking or anything, but 5 years seems like a big deal to me.
I mention it to K and my heart breaks to hear his response.
He doesn't want to think about it, it is still too painful.
I can't stand the thought of my husband hurting.

That got me thinking about that time and it suddenly flashes to mind that I. have. no. idea. where. her. sonogram. picture. is.
I feel myself start to panic.
How could I lose this?
How could I have misplaced it?

You see, I know that it is simply a sonogram picture.
But I have no other memory of her.
I don't have any other picture or idea of her.
As a mother, I need this.
I need this small picture of her.

So, I panic.
I rack my brain trying to remember where it is.
K gets up and looks on the computer, he thinks that he scanned it.
Nope, it's not on there.
Suddenly I remember that it was in the square, silver picture frame.
But, the picture frame isn't on the fireplace.
Where is it?

At this point I am near tears.
How could I have lost it?
I think it might be in the basement, packed away.
I start digging through all the tubs that I think it could be in.

I go back upstairs and tell K.
Now I am even closer to tears.
He mentions thinking that it could be in my scrap booking tub.
I race downstairs.
Hope spirals anew.
I do however find a bunch of Ainsley's sonogram pics.
{They were really cute, btw.}

Then I spot a tub that has a bunch of picture frames in it.
I start tearing through all of them.
I find the picture frame.
But then I hear Abby SCREAMING.

It's the scream that strikes terror in all parents.
I knew that something was very wrong.
I grabbed the pile of picture frames and dashed back upstairs.
She had gotten her finger SMASHED in the door.
I don't mean little smash, a serious SMASH.

Her finger nail had a purple line across it and she was inconsolable.
After giving her some ibuprofen and that not helping I decided to take her on a bit of a walk.
That always seems to help.

So walk we did.
It instantly cheered up my little sweet.
It's definitely Spring around here, there was so much beauty to look at.

Abby was doing much better so we headed home and I get her in bed.
Happy as a clam.

I looked in the picture frame and it isn't in there.
I started to lose hope on finding it.

Then it dawned on me that I had a little scrapbook for the cards and such that we received after we found out that we lost her.
I tore through my bookshelf looking for it and there it was.
The worst picture that they took of our precious little one, the only one that we were given.

Ahh, relief.
Abigail felt better and I found my picture.
What a nice end to a stressful evening.


  1. Oh Danna, I can't even imagine the pain of losing one of your beautiful girls..let alone the anguish you must have felt when you thought your photograph connection to her was gone too...I love photographs and always fear losing them or having them go missing..but missing one like that...sigh. I wish I could give you a big giant hug...but I'm so so SO glad that you found it.

    I hope Abby is feeling better today! Poor kiddo! :( I'm glad that you were able to comfort her and everyone was feeling better in the end. The Babe hit his head the other day..and I'm pretty sure it was the first time he's ever felt REAL pain (besides a couple of shots at the dr. office..) and his cry and tears..omg..I was a WRECK - and it was hardly anything. I've never heard him cry or be that upset before..he just sat there rubbing his head and looking at us like..WHAT HAPPENED..WHAT IS THIS..and we were like...ahhh! and just wanted to make it better :( So hard when you can't take away all of the worlds pains..sigh. Glad you were able to comfort Abby though! :) And feel better yourself :) xoxo

  2. awww Danna, hugs to you. My heart just broke reading this.

  3. Danna, I'm really sorry. I can hear the heartache through your words -- and the panic as you look for that precious picture. I am so grateful that you found the picture, that your little one's finger is okay, and that your walked refreshed you.

    God's blessings.


  4. SO glad you found the picture. I can only imagine how heartbroken you would be if it had been lost.

    And great thinking taking Abby for a walk to calm her down. A smashed finger is horrible pain.

  5. I am glad you found the picture I understand how you feel about having that one thing. I am glad Abby's finger is ok too! I think her needing you at that moment was meant to be, and then you could go back and find your picture.

  6. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. The kids sick always seem to make every day taks harder. Hang in there! Glad you found your picture.