Q & A on Saturday

This morning I decided to take part in hasta claridad's Q & A on Saturday.

Every Saturday she asks her readers to ask a question, she responds and invites her readers to so as well.

Before I jump into it and I think this week's for me will be a leap of faith, I would recommend you head on over and check out her blog.
She is quickly becoming one of my favs!
She is also on Twitter too and is just the sweetest!

Okay, here is today's question:

What are you most afraid to write about and why?

This for me is a topic I have been pondering a lot lately.

I actually have a lot of thoughts on it.

I occasionally write about heavy things (miscarriages) but not often.

I remember when K and I were trying to have another baby and I was so hurt.

Hurt by everything.

The sight of a pregnant woman.

A newborn baby.

Hearing about people that were expecting.

Hearing women complain about their kids/pregnancy/getting pregnant so easily/etc.

Now that we have been blessed with our miracle children, I don't feel that I have the "right" to complain about anything.

Neither my children nor I are perfect.

And I don't want to pretend that we are.

But, I am afraid to "complain."

It's as though I have pigeon holed myself into being "Little Miss Optimism."

Not that that is a bad thing, but in reality that is just not real life.

I have my fair share of ups and downs.

It's not that I am afraid to be REAL just that I don't ever ever want to come across as ungrateful.

Here's one things that has been hard:

Since having my hysterectomy, rather than having a monthly cycle (obviously) I get really down and have a hard time sleeping.

There, I said it, FINALLY!
This has been really hard though, it has been an unforeseen side effect of said surgery.

Would I have it again, in a New York second.

I just didn't think of anything past the surgery.

Now I know.

I have so many blog posts that I have actually taken the time to write but then don't push publish because I am too afraid to.

Man, I need a dose of courage!

I also have a fear of writing things that might hurt other people.

Of hashing out things that hurt me/my kids/my husband.

Example:
The other day, there was an incident regarding my darling eldest.

Another child and adult were awful to her.

She is fine, just a little sad but overall fine.

It was a very sad situation that has caused K and I a lot of heartache.

But again, I have been reluctant to share it.

The situation just seems too personal and painful.

I just don't want to put other's out there either simply because I have chosen to put myself out there.

I am also reluctant to talk politics.

 I have very definite ideas, but have zero desire to debate it.

So, I just avoid it like the plague.

I do occasionally talk about religion.

Being a Christian is something that defines me as a person.

Again though, I have no desire to debate anything.

I like you the way that you are.
We may have differing opinions, but I am a-okay with that.

Okay, I am leaving it there.

I am feeling a bit exposed and out there.

If I am being honest with myself though, I can admit that I like it.

I only ask though, that you treat me with kid gloves.

Please.

I'll even say pretty please with a cherry on top if it will help :)

P.S. I have a confession to make.

I keep wanting to delete parts of this post {again, too afraid to put myself out there}.

K keeps convincing me to keep it all on there.

So, I am going to put on my big girls pants and push publish.