Relieved

(**Disclaimer** This happened a year ago**)

Relieved.

Such a simple word with such an impact.

The feeling it evokes is pure bliss, happiness, shock, etc.

 I have felt relief many times:
passing an exam or class
not getting in trouble when I really should have (too many times to count)
getting to have a baby
my mom not having breast cancer
having a hysterectomy
my list could go on and on

The situation that pops to my mind instantly when I hear the word "relieved" is my baby girl, Abby, being able to hear.
I have written about it many times, but the beginning of my pregnancy with Abby was filled with uncertainty.
 Not just because of the multiple miscarriages, but there were bleeding issues and progesterone issues. Things that for me before had meant loss.

So when we actually made it to delivery, there was relief.
The feeling of oh my goodness, we have her!
Things were looking good after delivery, no real complications.
(Unless you want to count a botched epidural, imagine the procedure going so bad that your husband passes out and you feel most of what is going on still. Shuddering.)

Everything was going very routine until they got to the hearing test.
The lady that came in to administer the test had a child that attended Adison's school.
(Such a God incident.)
Abby passed with flying colors on her right side.
Her left just wouldn't pass.
We decided to do the test one more time, again she failed.
The lady administering the test informed us that they could only do the test three times before referring us on to Children's Mercy in Kansas City.
We could though, wait a couple of weeks, come back and do the test again.
It was thought that she just might have some fluid in her ears, she was a pretty wet baby when she was born.
We opted to wait and test again.

The weeks passed and I didn't think to much about the coming test.
The morning of, I remember praying and being at peace.
Abby and I headed up to the hospital where the lady in charge of the hearing program would be testing Abby.
Again, this lady too had a child attending Adison's school.
(Another God incident.)
We get Abby back to the room, get all the wires and such set and the test begins.
Her right ear passed within moments.
Perfect hearing.
She gets the left ear set up and right off the bat things are not looking so hot.
At this point it is showing that there was no hearing going on.
Where before she was registering some hearing/brain activity now there was none.
My heart broke.
We have a history of hearing problems on my side of the family and I have seen the struggles.
We were referred on to get the BIG hearing test done.

I headed home in shock and disbelief.
I really thought that she was going to pass, no problems.
I told K about it and he was really calm about the whole thing.
I was okay with it until I talked with my mother-in-law and I broke down and cried.
I was fearful that she would lose hearing in her other ear as her left ear had declined from "some activity" to none so quickly.
Later, Abby had an appt with her pediatrician and she mentioned things like hearing aids and therapy.
It was hard to hear, but I was at peace with things.
I just didn't want anything in this world to be any harder on my sweet baby than life was already going to be.
But, there are people that are thriving with hearing loss.
I knew that this was not something that would define her, rather something that would refine, enrich and grow her to be the beautiful girl that God had created her to be.

The time came for Abby's trip to Children's Mercy.
I was all psyched up and ready for it when a massive ice storm hit.
On top of that, the temperature had plummeted (the highs were negative numbers).
It was just not a safe situation to be traveling with a newborn.
I was forced to do the responsible thing and reschedule.
It was a hard choice to make because she was at the perfect age to get this test done and having to  reschedule the appointment for would mean that she would be older and less likely to sleep through the entire thing (which she had to).

So we waited and finally made the trek over to KC.
To say that I was nervous is such an understatement.
I had prayed about this test and knew that Abby had a bunch of people praying for her too.
I felt at peace with whatever happened and was so grateful for the prayers.
Poor Abby though, to get her to sleep through the entire thing, I was told not to feed her after her first morning feeding.
She was also not allowed to go back to sleep.
My mother-in-law did everything she could to keep Abby awake and Abby was not happy.
She screamed and screamed and screamed.

We headed back to start the exam.
Finally I was allowed to feed her.
The Dr. doing the exam was in charge of all of Children's Mercy's hearing tests.
She got everything set up and Abby drifted right off to sleep.
(Another God incident.)
The Dr. told us that she wouldn't be able to talk during the test so we would have to wait until the very end to get results.
She was going to be preforming three different tests so it would probably take a while.

Abby slept through all of the tests.
All of the poking, prodding, repositioning, having sticky things put in her ears.
She did rouse a few times, but fell back asleep quite quickly.
Finally the all the tests were done.
Time for the results...
She PASSED!
She passed everything!
Not just passed, she scored 100% on everything.

Relief, you betcha!

I was shocked, thrilled, offered up words of praise and gratitude.

It was wonderful to be able to call our prayer warriors to tell them the joyful news.

We were told to still watch her to make sure that she was reaching developmental milestones.

This tests could only tell us that her brain was registering all information, not if there was any hearing loss or not.

I'll take it!

So far, Abby has been doing wonderfully!

Relief, ahh such a beautiful word.
Such a beautiful feeling!

In hindsight, I view having to wait for her Children's Mercy tests to be a God incident too.
It gave her that much more time for whatever was going on to be healed.