Miss Emma Grace

Ainsley has been talking to me a lot about Emma lately.

She wants to know how old she would be.

{almost 6}

If she will have a birthday party in Heaven.

{She thinks we should make a cake and throw it up in the air as high as we can and maybe it will get to Heaven. I told her that I am sure that she will have a great party with Jesus as well as our loved ones already there.}

She wants to know what Emma looks like.

{When I tell her that I don't know she tells me that Emma has blue eyes, silver hair and a sparkly dress. She's also not a baby but a big girl.}

Ainsley wants to know if Emma wore certain shoes, then remembers that she died in my tummy.

{Be still my mama's heart, it hurts a lot sometimes.}

She tells Abby about Emma, tells other people about her, too.

Shares that she has sisters and brothers in Heaven, that they are with Jesus and that we will see them someday.

I love her openness, her willingness to share her sister and siblings that aren't with us.

At the same time though, it makes me so sad.

Sad to know that this sadness is such a part of her story.

You know what though, I know that Jesus will use this in her story, just as He has used it in mine.

There is no sadness or wistfulness in her voice when she talks to me about Emma, she's very matter-of-fact.

It's part of her, the same way that she has two other sisters, a mom and dad that love her and a Savior that is always there for her.

I'm looking forward to seeing how God uses this in Ainsley's life.

I know that it has given her empathy towards others, I have also witnessed her sharing Emma's story giving others the opportunity to share with us their trials and sadness.

God uses it all, the trials and the triumphs for good.

It is not always visible immediately, but it's there.