I have been feeling so blessed lately, so very humbled and aware of how unworthy I am. The Lord has blessed our lives, there is no other way to put it. We would have nothing without Him. We have been blessed with a wonderful marriage and with children. Children, that word is still so amazing to me. When we had Adison, we had no idea how easy we had it. There was no way for us to look into the future and see how difficult the road to children (multiple) would be. We assumed that having a second baby would be easy, we were so blessed with how quickly Adison came into our lives, there was no reason to believe that it wouldn't happen again. We finally decided to try again, one year passed and then another. I remember every month passing and it felt like another child wasn't going to happen. Then, we became pregnant again, the excitement, the joy! I felt pretty good, not much different than I did when I was pregnant with Adison. I clearly remember the day that I was to have my first prenatal appointment, for some odd reason I remember telling a co-worker of mine that if I didn't come back to work that my appointment didn't go well. The memories of that day are still so fresh in my mind, we lost our baby. The Beatles song, "Yesterday" resonated so strongly with me. I ended up having a D&C, a week later we were told that I had a molar pregnancy, the nurse said things such a genetic error, possible cancer and not trying again for another year. Time passed, cancer was not an issue and we got pregnant again, lost a baby, pregnant again, lost a baby, pregnant again, lost a baby. Then, I became pregnant, I remember praying to the Lord, asking Him to please bless us with this child. That I would dedicate this child to the Lord and raise him/her to be a follower of God. He heard our cries and our prayers and this time we were given a child. The feeling of receiving this blessing has not left my body, we were given a child. When she was a few months old, I unexpectedly became pregnant again, lost a baby, pregnant again, lost a baby, pregnant again, another unexpected blessing. We have been blessed three times by the Lord, words cannot explain how rich our lives feel. We have been given a gift.
This week, I learned of another couple that struggled with having a baby, then they were blessed with a child. But this child was not meant to live long on this earth, he is back in Heaven with his Father. The sadness that I feel for this couple is overwhelming, their strength in the Lord is beautiful to witness.
This is a reminder to me to not sweat the small things, to truly cherish each moment that God has given me with these darling girls. To hug them extra close because we have been given this gift, freely given.