Eleventy billion things

Happy Wednesday my loves!
At least I think it's Wednesday ... my kids (yes, all three of them) have decided to contract a stomach bug.

The things coming out of my children are horrifying, the smell, well, lets just say that there has been a lot of: laundry washing, bath taking, disinfecting and candles being lit.

I *think* we are at the end of this mess, although I thought that last night only to discover that Ainsley had thrown up off the side of the bed sometime in the middle of the night.

I'm not holding my breath.

(except for when I'm cleaning the previously mentioned filth)

I am praying with all my might that K and I avoid this, please please please let this skip the two of us.

PLEASE!

Yes, that's the sound of desperation.

I'm working backwards with this post because that's how the pics downloaded off of my phone and rather than fighting it I decided to go with it.

This turkey had her well-check on Monday.

She was NOT please about having to wear the "big pajamas", at all.

I snapped this pic to send home to K who was home with Lee.

She would not smile, she was ticked.

Don't mess with her and her clothing choices.

She later informed me that she'd rather be naked then have to wear the gown, I foresee massive clothing battles in our future.

These two.

They laugh, they fight, they laugh some more, but most of all they love each other dearly.

This was on Abby's fourth birthday.

When anyone asked how her day was she was respond to everyone with, "I'm fouah!"

She had a blast.

We had a blast.

Halloween.

Yes, it was forever ago.

No, I didn't blog about it.

Why?
Because I'm an awful blogger!

We had fun trick-or-treating with some of our small group.

It was lovely, can't wait to do it again next year!

I'm a redhead now and I'm loving it.

I dyed my hair while we were visiting my mom and step-dad.

That weekend was amazing and I need to blog about that as well.

It was awesome and we met some online friends in person for the first time.

It was epic.

I need to blog about that, too.

See, bad blogger.

And because my children insist on getting older every year, Adison and Ainsley demanded to turn a year old.

I tried to stop it but Ainsley told her that Jesus told her she could and you can't argue with Jesus.

We celebrated their birthdays together at one of my favorite places, they make cupcakes and not just any cupcakes, the best cupcakes ever.

I hope you are doing well, how's life treating you?
Let's catch up.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

I've had 6 miscarriages.

5 of them were win the first trimester and one was in the beginning of the second.

I had a easy pregnancy and delivery with our first, Adison, two years of infertility followed by 4 miscarriages.

We then had our first rainbow baby, Ainsley, followed by two more miscarriages and then had our second rainbow, Abby.

This is us.

This is our reality.

This is the story of our family.

This is what has built our family, what has brought us to the deepest depths of despair and has helped us to feel such gratitude for what we have.

While, at times, it felt like it might break us individually had the opposite effect on our marriage and brought us so very close to one another.

It has shaded every tough moments with having children with the thought of what might not have been.

This experience can be so very isolating, the feeling of being so very alone and so broken that you might shatter.

Here's something I came to realize, you are not alone.

Even if you feel that you are, please know that you are not.

I remember feeling so very lost and unsure and well, terrified.

Please know that I'm here for you, please.

I know the primal need to share, to make sure that others remember you baby(ies).

If you would like to read more about my {our} experiences, start here.

Today, October 15th, is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

It is a day that we remember all of the tiny ones that were lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or death during infancy.

Today we remember.

I was contacted by Count the Kick campaign to help share what they are doing.

By keeping track of your baby's movements you can help prevent late-term complications and stillbirths.

Please check out their facebook page: Count the Kicks 

If you've gone through a pregnancy or infant loss and you would like to share, please do so.

Talking about my losses has helped tremendously.

Please know that I'm praying for you, xo

Here we are

So, I'm here.

Struggling to figure out what to write.

I think about it on a daily basis.

So, here's where we are.

We are busy.

We are adjusting to our new norm.

Two kids in school, one at home.

A fifth grader {whoa!} who has her own very definite idea of how things are supposed to be.

If they are not exactly the way she would like then watch out.

She's growing up, she's trying new things and just throwing me for a loop.

A kindergartner {double whoa} who is so sensitive and yet really Type A.

Girl has to have things done the right way, has to do things the right way the first time and stresses over the unknown and uncertain.

A three {soon to be 4 year old} who is still adjusting to her best friend being in kindergarten.

Who is for really the first time is alone, she's finding her own voice, learning to play by herself and stretch her imagination.

This time has been busy and fun and crazy and loud and frustrating and exhausting and well, life.

I'm enjoying where we are at, I'm enjoying this slice of life, maybe not each and every moment {keeping it real} but trying to.

I'm tired though, this time, while not as physically strenuous is so much more emotionally and mentally taxing.

Yay coffee.

Yesterday I had a glimpse at what having three female teenagers will be like and whoa, I'm kind of scared.

The bickering was bouncing around like a ping pong ball, one would be upset and bicker with another and then someone else would start up and so on and so forth.

We made it through it.

We continue to figure all of this out, figure out how things flow and causes stress.

I'm trying to figure out how to make it all work, I'm thinking of starting a clip chart like they do at the girls' school.

If I start it I'll let y'all know.

I'm sure it will be interesting.

Adios Summer

Summer is almost over.
There, I've said it.
I've uttered those four dreadful words.
Over. Finished. Done.

This Summer has been a good one.
Scratch that, I'd go so far and say glorious.
An A+ in fact.
Sure, we've had some rough days but overall it was kind to us.

Swimming, swimming and more swimming.
Parks, picnics, playing with friends, ice cream and sleeping in.

This Summer could possible win the award for my most favorite thus far.
This afternoon, after picking up the big girls from school we are hitting the pool for the last time this year.
**sob**
I'm planning on staying until they kick us out.
We're going to swim until we turn pruney and the kids are all but BEGGING to leave.

Summer,
Thanks for your warm days, sunny skies and fun we've had.
Love,
A very grateful mom

P.S. could you please keep the bugs away next year? I could do without the mosquitos, chiggers, horseflies and such. xo

A last and two firsts

School has started.

I'm still trying to let that sink in.

School has started and the oh so busy schedule has started as well.

Sigh.

Can't we have summer for a bit longer?

Please.

Pretty please??

These two girls were SOOOOOO excited for school to start.

They both had picked out their first day of school outfits roughly five days before school started.

I think they looked pretty spiffy personally.

Last.

This girl is in her last year of elementary school.

She's one of the big kids on campus.

5th grade, I cannot believe it.

I swear she was a kindergartner yesterday.

Adison is so excited because this year they get to do band or strings.

She's really hoping to do violin, we should find out next week.

I'll keep you posted.

First.

Ainsley started kindergarten.

Again, I feel like just yesterday she was a little 9 month old going with me to take Adison to kindergarten.

She had been pretty nervous but then we found out that she was going to have Adison's kindergarten teacher as her teacher as well.

I was beyond pleased.

We also had Sneak Peek the day evening before school started and that really got her pumped.

She was so cute getting her backpack all ready and packing her lunch.

It was a riot watching her pick out her backpack and lunch bag {she picked Hello Kitty, shocker!}.

I couldn't leave Miss Abby out of the first day of school pics.

My girls are growing up!

Tears.

She held it together so well and then the tears started falling.

I knew they were coming because she had her little hands on her face.

When the dam first broke she had both hands on her little cheeks, that's a tell tale sign that Lee is going to lose it.

I held it together until she didn't, I managed to get teary but never actually cry.

It was so hard to keep it together, I knew this day would be hard for my little home-body, mama-loving girl.

She was so brave though you guys and her little excited face when school got out was priceless.

She told me in the van on the way home, "I cried because I missed you, then I forgot about you and didn't cry."

Poor Abby.

That first day that both of her sisters were gone was a tough one.

She kept telling me, "I want to stay home, I don't want to go anywhere without my sisters."
Cue the heartbreak, I felt so bad for this girl.

We met up with some friends at the library who knew that Miss Abby was having a hard time without her sisters, especially Ainsley.

I just love good friends that surround you and your children.

A week after the older two girls started school, Abby started preschool.

After the epic meltdown and shutdown that homegirl had at a preschool screening we decided to hold off on the whole preschool thing.

This shy girl wanted to stay at home which was fine by me, she's three.

She can stay by my side, no problems!

But then, one of my dear friends, Sarah, invited Abby to join her daughter in some homeschool preschool.

Let me tell ya, despite some tears the morning of before we left the house, she LOVED it!

Not a tear nor a turn of the head as I left happened.

She was a rockstar!

I feel like this is the exact right place for her to be, doing school with one of her best little friends and her mama who loves my girl so much.

It's perfection.

So, here we are, back at it.

Signing planners, looking at papers, making sure homework is done and lunches are packed.

She's not a napper

Homegirl does not nap, we'll hardly ever naps and if she does its for 3 minutes in the car.

Trust me when I say that it doesn't lend itself to a fun evening.

Today the older girls are at a friends house (I'm best friends with the mom and the girls are best friends with her two daughters, it's awesome) which means that the house is eerily quiet.

We've had a quiet afternoon that has been punctuated with hugs and requests for peanut butter crackers.

I went into the kitchen a little while ago to make dinner and Abby up and fell asleep!

She's been sleeping for almost 45 minutes (shocking!).

I haven't been extra quiet or anything but she's still out like a light.

I wonder how quickly she'll wake up after her sisters walk in the door?

Counting down

We are in countdown mode for school starting.

I'm not ready, not ready at all.

Summer could go on for a few more months for all I care.

1. I haven't done ANY back to school shopping yet.

Zero, zilch, nada

I'm in denial y'all, school can't be starting yet, it simply can't.

2. It's been raining so much lately.

I finally mowed our lawn tonight and I lost count as to how many times the mower died because the grass was so long.

It was bad, really bad.

Now it's done though.

3. My mom is coming in town on Friday!
Woo to the hoo!

I'm beyond excited, this is a nice countdown to have.

4. My latest snack indulgence lately has been hummus with black bean and garlic chips, so freakin' good.

5. I'm headed to bed, sorry this is so short and random, I'm ex-haust-ed.

xo